Super QB

I know I’m late on this, but did anyone see the Wake Forest vs. Maryland game last week? Notice anything insanely ridiculous odd about many of Wake Forest’s rushing plays? How about miniature fullback QB Riley Skinner as the lead blocker? Now Jim Grobe is one hell of a coach to take Wake Forest as far as he has. I mean, this man is like Bob Stoops on coaching super steroids. But when you’ve already lost your starting quarterback for the entire season, is it wise to use the next guy in line as your lead blocker on a good bit of your rushing plays?

Should Miami go Bowling?

Yes, Miami is 6 – 6 and going bowling. Hard to believe for two reasons. The obvious first reaction about why this is hard to believe is “I still can’t believe Miami has 6 losses.” The other reason why this is complete crap is because of a very commonplace and acceptable (in Miami, only) the October 14th incident. Florida International. Remember that? Anthony Reddick wielding his helmet like a battle ax? Whoever the hell that crazy bastard was that got into the fight and was swinging his crutches like a Viking warrior? The other nut that was out there pretending to be Hulk Hogan? And yet, after all that insanity, Miami is going to a bowl.

Just go back to 2004 in Clemson, SC when South Carolina and Clemson got into a bench clearing brawl. With both teams fielding multiple candidates for the Dumbass of the Year award, the two teams fought for several minutes while the Death Valley crowd cheered (yes, cheered) the gladiators on. And does anyone remember what happened that bowl season with both teams bowl eligible? Rightfully so, both universities had presidents that declined to send their teams to the post season. South Carolina issued their statement first and Clemson decided it was right to follow the example had their hand forced to do likewise. And what has the ACC learned from this event? Miami is bowling, so you figure it out. Way to really uphold moral integrity there, president Donna Shalalalala. John Swofford not stepping in? Yeah, I’d say that’s about par for the course.

PS - You just know Demetri Martin would have trouble with Shalala’s name as well (go to the 3:52 mark).

More Bama Rumors

Since these guys have allegedly shot down the Tide, who's next?

Jimmy Johnson, Frank Beamer, Rich Rodriguez, and Bobby Petrino are rumored somewhere in cyberspace to be locked in to the Bama head job, all by "reliable" bullshit sources. Who the hell knows what rumor is going to come out next? There are so many rumors in Tuscaloosa that the only truth is that no one knows who the hell is going to take that job. I’m betting that the Red Elephants don't get any of these guys. None. Can't you just see some of the conversations with Mal Moore, AD at Bama?

Big Name Head Coach: I'll take the job.
Mal Moore: Really? That's great. When do you want to finalize everything?
Big Name Head Coach: Hell no! I'm just fucking with you.

If any of this sounds vaguely familiar, it's because this is the situation Bama was in after the Mike Price internet glory story scandal.

More Coaching News...

Guess where this guy is headed?



That's exactly right, Detective Greenly! Bama fans, let it go. Miami fans, forget about it. Besides, Spurrier’s not going to leave a conference where he gets to coach against Fulmer. I swear I think he loves beating Tennessee more than any other team. NC State, are you fucking kidding?!?! not going to happen. And any other places that have coaching vacancies, you can keep dreaming. South Carolina is Steve’s last stop.

The Bloodshed Continues!

Mike Shula, you’re up next. After four years as the Tide’s head man, Shula has been let go. With Mike Price having less losses than the articles of clothing on the strippers in front of him (OK, maybe the girl at the hotel was even), Mike Shula was never going to live up to this expectation in T town. I mean, for goodness sake, The Bear never lost a game. But still, come on. Just look at the brilliance this man has in a crowd and how he commands the attention in the room.





And does anyone remember this from last October? Just a touch premature maybe?

I am the Man? Two More Coaches get the Axe

Chuck Amato is out at NC State. Well, this is just shocking news. Nothing says “job security” like losses to the Akron Fighting Helen Kellers Zips, North Carolina, and Least Carolina. Yep, you read those right. Just let that sink in. Akron. North Carolina. East Carolina. I hate that Chucky the Chest is leaving. I really do. You just can’t listen to this guy talk without laughing. Writers all over the state of North Carolina have to just be cursing their luck on this one. And too bad we won’t get any more of these:

Dirk Koetter of Always Something University (or Arizona State) had a harsher sending off. After leading the Sin Sun Devils to three consecutive bowls, Dirk was given his marching orders yesterday. Hey, at least he didn’t try his hand in the “adult” entertainment business. At least, he hasn’t yet. For those of you who have not heard about Courtney Cox, former (and I don’t think I can stress former enough) cheerleader at ASU, this young lady decided to take up “acting” in the adult entertainment field. Going by her new name of Courtney Simpson, the former cheer girl wore her ASU uniform in an XXX adult movie that had to have the administration of ASU just beaming with pride. The craziest part of the whole story has got to be why she thought that changing her last name from Cox to Simpson would help in her new profession. I only hope it was to avoid professional confusion with the “other” actress.

South Carolina - 31 "Clemmons" - 28

Yesterday was the 104^th meeting of these hated rivals. A series that was halted after 1902 because Clemson students, upset after a 12 – 6 loss, decided to march onto Carolina’s campus armed with swords and bayonets. They quickly changed their minds when met at the entrance by Carolina students, bearing guns and rifles. A rivalry that has seen the 1961 Sigma Nu prank. And also, a rivalry that doesn’t get the national attention that it deserves.

Once again, it was that time of year. At noon, basically the entire Palmetto state shut down for a few hours as every native South Carolinian picks a side. Lou Holtz, master of annunciation, talks about the game on ESPN and calls Clemson “Clemmons.” Gamecock fans everywhere chuckle. Then, ESPN switches over from Gameday to the world’s largest pumpkin patch Death Valley. After a few hours and many crazy twists, South Carolina somehow manages to come through with a win. Later that evening, 3,000+ fans show up at Williams Brice Stadium to welcome home the victors. This is a long overdue scene.

Recap of this Weekend's Action

• The Big East tries to pull the bullshit parity card as South Florida beats West Virginia.

• Texas A&M wins in Austin, improving Coach Franchione's record to 3 - 11 in November.
  

• Pete Carroll shows Charlie Weiss who’s the true coaching genius.

• Speaking of coaching genius, how in the hell do you lose your starting quarterback for the whole season and an absolute stud of a running back and still go play for your conference’s title game? Stand aside, Anne Sullivan. Enter the real miracle worker, Bob Stoops.

• SEC > ACC with 3 rivalry games going to the SEC: Florida over Florida State, Georgia over Georgia Tech, and South Carolina over Clemson.

• Wake Forest clinches a spot in the ACC title game, something that everyone predicted when the season started. Somewhere, some lucky bastard has taken Vegas to the bank.